


Keep Holdin' On

by BigG1999



Series: ClexaWeek2020 [7]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Child Death, Clexa Week 2020, Comfort/Angst, Coming Out, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Intersex Lexa (The 100), Minor Character Death, Past Costia/Lexa (The 100), Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:27:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23049289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigG1999/pseuds/BigG1999
Summary: Sometimes life makes you want to give up, but you gotta keep holding on, to get to the good stuff.ClexaWeek2020 Day 7.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Series: ClexaWeek2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1651840
Comments: 16
Kudos: 90
Collections: Clexaweek2020





	Keep Holdin' On

**Author's Note:**

> It's kinda hinted at, but not outright stated, but Lexa is intersex in this universe, to give some context to an otherwise seemingly weird comment.   
> Why is she intersex you ask? To that, I answer, why aren't you?

Lexa groans to herself as she walks into her large penthouse apartment, green eyes slowly adjusting to the dark room as she looks for her girlfriend.

“Clarke?” Lexa questions gently, not wanting to wake the blonde if she’s fallen asleep.

“Baby girl?” She tries again as she heads into her bedroom, unsurprised to find the blonde missing.

Her jaw moves side to side on its own as she removes her jacket, hanging it up before removing the rest of her clothes. Pulling on her softest robe, she goes on the hunt for her blonde lover. 

“Clarke, baby?” Lexa whispers as she pushes open the door to their extra bedroom, already knowing the blonde will be there.

A whimper leaves the brunette as she takes in the scene before her. Clarke lays on the floor, curled up in a ball, one hand reaching out for the empty crib and a picture laying next to her. A tear leaves green eyes as the loss hits her for the seventh time in the last hour. 

They had agreed the world didn’t need more children, there were already plenty of people on the planet as it is. So they reached out to one of the charities Lexa’s business regularly donates to, one that helps sick orphans get the treatment they need. It only took one look at the picture for them to know that was their baby girl. Her dark brown skin glowed, reminding Lexa of her lost  fiancée, and bright green eyes, which Clarke fell for at first glance, mirror images of Lexa’s. Her small button nose begged to be kissed and her small cleft palate made it look like she was grinning. 

They had set everything up. Flights booked to the small city in Africa where her doctors were, the extra bedroom transformed and ready for a new life. 

Two days before their flight they got news no parent ever wants to hear. 

Days were spent crying with each other, mourning the child they never got the chance to parent. After two weeks Lexa had to get back to work, and Clarke took to painting those bright green eyes, which now haunted her every nightmare.

Lexa crouches down to the blonde, gently gathering her in her arms.

“Mmhm, Lex?” Clarke’s sleepy voice questions. 

“I’m taking you to bed, baby girl,” Lexa whispers, lifting the blonde off the floor.

“NO!” Clarke yelps, her hand grabbing Lexa’s collar to stop her.

Lexa freezes, not used to Clarke raising her voice. Especially right after being asleep. Watery blue eyes meet green.

“I just… We need to sleep in here tonight,” her voice is so small, questioning if it’s alright to do such a thing.

“Okay baby,” Lexa nods, setting Clarke down, “I’ll get the bed, you talk to her.”

“Talk to her?” Clarke questions, picking up the picture of their daughter.

“You used to talk to her every night, Clarke. You’d tell her all about the adventures and ice cream she’d get when we brought her home. Talk to her like you used to. She’ll love it,” she explains, pressing her lips to the blonde’s forehead.

The brunette doesn’t eavesdrop on the blonde. The only reason she knows about the talking is because she used to fall asleep to it, every single night since they first saw their baby. Quickly she pulls the mattress off her bed, sliding it on its side into the spare bedroom. Reentering the bedroom she finds Clarke standing over the crib, tears streaming down her cheeks. Dropping the mattress without care, she rushes to her lover.

“Shh baby,” Lexa whispers, wrapping her arms around the blonde from behind, pulling her close.

Clarke’s body shakes as silent sobs escape her, her knuckles turning white from their grip on the crib. 

“She knows now. She knows how much we love her, Clarke. Death is not the end. She will-” a sob interrupts Lexa’s speech, “she’ll live on in-” a whimper escapes, “inside of us.”

Clarke turns around, her hands tangling in dark hair as she pulls Lexa’s mouth to hers. Tears run together, their lips parting to make room for sobs.

“I miss her so much Lex… I don’t know how we can do it,” Clarke mumbles, her face finding its way to Lexa’s neck.

“We just have to hang on, baby girl. We just have to hang on,” she repeats, both knowing she’s not saying it just for Clarke.

Clarke nods, trying to pull Lexa deeper into the embrace. 

“Come on baby, we need to sleep,” she says, pulling the blonde’s hips away from the crib and bringing her to the mattress. 

“We’ll make it baby girl,” Lexa whispers as they fall into place on the bed, Lexa’s arms wrapping around Clarke from behind.

“We will,” Clarke nods, her fingers lacing themselves through Lexa’s around her belly.

“As long as we’re together. Our baby girl will always be with us until we meet again.”

“I’m not ready to say goodbye,” Clarke confesses.

Lexa nods, pressing a kiss to Clarke’s shoulder, “then for tonight we just sleep baby girl.”

Clarke nods, shifting so she faces the brunette. 

“Lexa?” Clarke questions, blue eyes looking into green, “I love you.”

Lips just barely twitch upwards, something that Clarke has noticed Lexa does instead of smiling when she is tired.

“I love you, Clarke,” Lexa states, green eyes closing as her fingers run through blonde hair.

“Goodnight Lexa,” the blonde mumbles, her words falling on deaf ears.

* * *

“Are you sure you can be here?” Clarke questions her wife.

“Yes Clarke, I wouldn’t miss this for the world,” Lexa states, leading the blonde deeper into the theater to find a seat. 

“Excuse us,” Lexa says as they push down an aisle, sitting in the middle for the best view.

“I’m so excited,” Clarke says, her hand finding Lexa’s thigh, clothed in new pressed black pants. 

_ “Klark,” _ Lexa growls when the blonde’s hand wonders to her inner thigh. 

“You know, we are free tonight,” the blonde mumbles, pressing her face into brunette hair, letting her breath create goosebumps on Lexa’s neck.

“Yes, free tonight. Not now,” she states, taking the blonde hand in hers, stopping its wondering.

“I love you so much,” Clarke sighs, leaning back in her seat.

“I love you,” Lexa lifts Clarke’s hand, pressing a kiss to the back of it.

The lights dim, signaling for the audience to find a seat. Lexa chuckles softly as Clarke fidgets in her seat, earning her a playful glare from blue eyes.

“Hello ladies, gentlemen, and everybody in between,” a woman greets as she walks on to the stage.

“Thank you for taking time out of your busy days to come and see our senior night performances,” She pauses, allowing the audience to applaud.

“Many of our seniors have put together something to showcase their talent and will be performing for you. Some of the seniors have been working towards this day for years, while others just got into the arts this year. Tonight is for the seniors before they go on and enrich the world. Please give it up for them,” she starts the applause, backing off the stage.

A younger girl, most likely a junior, takes a place at the podium, reading from a list.

“Up first is Abby Nick, she has spent her four years here in choir. She has been playing the guitar since she was eight and singing since she was four. She is singing and playing  _ Blue Skies  _ for you tonight. Please give a hand for Miss Abby Nick,” the woman smiles before bowing off stage as a young girl walks on, a white dress with a guitar at her hips.

Lexa and Clarke don’t completely zone out, both enjoying the performances. Kids sing their hearts out, some play beautiful melodies, and a few kids give amazing speeches, but they can’t help that they all run together in their wait. 

“And to finish our senior spotlight, we have Piper Griffin-Woods. She is going to be giving a speech tonight instead of singing,” the girl informs, hurrying off stage.

“A speech?” Lexa questions, looking to her wife.

Clarke shrugs, her blue eyes trained on the stage as they wait for their daughter to walk out. After a minute, a younger blonde rushes on stage, her grey eyes sparkling as she takes in the number of people in the audience. She finally grabs the microphones, a small chuckle escaping her pale lips.

“Sorry about the wait, there are a lot of tears backstage,” she jokes, earning a small chuckle out of the audience.

The young blonde can feel the questioning green eyes on her, her mother worked with her for months on the song she was going to sing, and must feel betrayed that she isn’t doing it.

“Well, I’m going to just introduce myself, as I made sure my friend didn’t say that much about me. I’m Piper, child of Clarke Griffin, an amazing artist who set up Skaikru Charity, an organization that helps orphans around the world find homes and peace through art, and Lexa Woods, CEO, and owner of Trikru Industries and The Grounder TV network.”

A small cheer erupts in the audience, probably from some of Clarke and Lexa’s friends from work who always show up to their daughter’s events. Clarke chuckles to herself, leaning into Lexa and pressing a kiss to her temple. Piper finds green eyes in the crowd, a smile crossing both of their faces.

“Yeah, so my moms are pretty awesome, but it’s time to talk about me,” she says, flashing a cheeky grin.

“Wanted. It’s such a simple word, yet it means so much. There are children all around the world who just want to be wanted. Being wanted is not the same as being loved, and so many people believe it is. You can love sushi, but do you always want it? Do you always want to eat that same exact thing, every single day? Hell no you don’t, but you love it. That, sadly, is what many children go through every day in their homes,” Piper says, noticing the way her parent’s hands came together.

“I grew up wanted,” she admits, a smile on her face, “I always knew my parents would give up the world for me. They always wanted to have me with them. Even if they were having a bad day, I knew I was always wanted. It’s an amazing feeling, knowing you were always wanted,” the smile slowly slips off her face.

“I was wanted by my moms, my parents, before I knew them,” she grows quiet.

“Oh god, she’s going to tell the story,” Clarke whispers, her grip on Lexa’s hand growing tight.

“You see, I have two moms. Two wonderful parents who raised me, who wanted me since before they saw me. But I wasn’t always wanted. I wasn’t born to the parents who wanted me.”

“What is she doing?” Lexa wonders aloud, looking up at their daughter on stage, who is telling the world things they don’t talk about outside the house.

“My parents found me in a garbage can in the alley behind a run-down bar,” gasps of surprise ring through the crowd.

“There was only one article published about the little girl found in the garbage can. Nobody knew about the unwanted child found by two rich girls. Nobody knew where the smiling baby came from, now tucked on the hip of Miss Woods, the youngest and most powerful CEO in the last fifty years. Nobody cared to ask questions, correction, nobody dared to ask questions. It didn’t matter to me though, because I was wanted. I grew up listening to the story of how they found me,” Lexa smiles, leaning over and kissing Clarke’s temple as she remembers the day they found Piper.

“You see,” Piper smiles, a hint of sadness in her eyes, “my moms wanted a baby before I came along. Naomi was her name, she lived in Africa and was a sick baby. She was only three months old, and the paperwork never got handled, because she died seventeen days after they first saw her picture. Needless to say, my parents were devastated. They spent months grieving the loss of their firstborn, asking why they couldn’t have just been a little quicker. Four more days and they would’ve been with her. The picture that made them realize Naomi was theirs is still on their dresser, along with paintings of her lining the walls. Anyways, five months after Naomi’s death, my Aunt Raven and Uncle Lincoln, not as in together, just my aunt and my uncle being friends, not together in any way shape or form, forced them out for drinks at some run-down bar,” she pauses, having earned a few chuckles at making sure people knew her aunt and uncle were not together.

“Anyways, my parents ended up in the back alley. Do not ask why they were back there, I do not want to know, but they heard me crying. So, of course, they rushed to me, finding me in the garbage. Mom always says that it was meant to be, seeing as I should’ve been dead by that point, and they would never be caught dead in that part of town. Of course, I’m the reason that Azgeda exists. If you don’t know who they are, it’s a charity that checks popular baby dumpsites in the city, saving lives,” she pauses as a cheer pulses through the audience.

“Many of you might be wondering why I am telling you my life story, and that is a good question. I’m sure my moms are wondering why I just told half of theirs too,” she chuckles, “I just let you in on who I am. I have two moms and an older sister who died before I was born. I grew up wanted in every possible way. Did you ever notice what I didn’t say I was?” she pauses, allowing everybody time to think.

“I never said I was a girl.”

* * *

“So…” the young blond whispers, their hands clasping behind them, grey eyes looking up at their parents.

“So,” Clarke smiles, looking at the child they raised.

“Do you have a name picked out? Do you have pronouns?” Lexa questions quickly, almost shaking in excitement.

Grey eyes widen at the sight of their mother practically jumping around in her expensive three-piece suit. 

“I’m sorry, I’m just really happy for you,” she chuckles nervously when the blonde’s hand settles on her shoulder.

“Jace,” they whisper quickly, the name escaping on its own. 

“Jace,” Lexa mumbles, tasting the name on her lips.

“And I’m a guy,” Jace states, voice stronger. 

“AHH!” Lexa yelps in excitement, pulling Jace and Clarke into a hug.

“We have a son!” she yells, tears spilling down her face.

Clarke takes one look at her wife and breaks into laughter. It only takes a moment for Jace’s laugh to join hers. They can all feel the eyes on them, but not even Lexa cares.

“We have a son,” Lexa repeats, pulling back to look at her blond’s.

Green eyes meet grey, then blue. A smile comes across all their faces as they all take in the news once again. Lexa turns to their son, cupping his face as she looks into the depth of the grey. 

“I’m so proud of you,” she states, pulling him in and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

He grins, tears in his eyes as his voice shakes, “it’s all because I had you for a mother.”

Tears spring to Lexa’s eyes, but it’s Clarke who lets out the first sob, making them both turn to her.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbles, waving her hand as if to tell them to go on, “you’re just both so perfect.”

“We wouldn’t be us without you Clarke,” Lexa whispers, pulling her in for a three-way hug while pressing a kiss to her temple.

“You two are the only reason I was able to come out tonight,” Jace says, pulling out of the hug to looks at his mothers.

“I could see that even though I was born with the wrong body, I’m not confined to it. I can still do anything I want to do. I can still do anything, take over the whole world if I want to, and I don’t have to change anything about me if I don’t want to. If I want to, I can, but I don’t want to. I was able to see that someone like me can still be loved. That there are people out there who don’t love for a person’s gender, that you can love a person for more than their body. You two have taught me everything I need to know about love, and that’s why I was able to do this tonight. So thank you, for being you.”

“We are lucky to call you our son,” Clarke says, reaching forward and wiping Jace’s tears away.

“We love you Jace,” Lexa states.

“Jay! We need to go,” a voice yells from across the hall.

“He already knew didn’t he?” Clarke questions, looking to the voice.

“Carter always knew, but I have to get going,” Jace blushes.

“Call us in the morning, alright?” the blonde orders.

“Yes mom, I love you moms.”

“Love you too,” they answer in unison, each getting a kiss on the cheek as Jace runs to his boyfriend's side, both ready to go home.

“We have a son,” Lexa grins.

“We do,” Clarke smiles, blue eyes connecting with shining green.

Lexa can’t help herself, her lips connecting with Clarke’s. Pale hands clasp around her vest as Clarke is leaned backward, Lexa’s hands making sure she won’t fall. Neither notices the flash of a camera getting the perfect ‘sailor kiss’ picture of them, neither care the next day when the story is in the newspaper either.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everybody who read/commented on all my fics this ClexaWeek! It was a lot of fun, and I hope you stick around as I finish a few of them!   
> I know this one was kinda heavy, but I hope you liked it nonetheless!


End file.
